Year: 2016

The Introvert’s Guide to Orlando V: Disney Springs

by Bart Leahy, posted in introversion, Orlando, Uncategorized

I’ll get off of Disney property, I promise. Today, however, is not that day.

Disney Springs is one of three places I walk around for exercise regularly. This is because it’s got a circle route with a few optional branches I can take for extra distance or extra quiet. Said walk starts by parking in the back corner of the Cirque du Soleil parking lot (what the street signs in the Disney Springs area now call “Surface Parking”). From there, I can walk in one of two directions on the path that borders the south side of the parking lot: along the Sassagoula River toward Cirque, House of Blues, DisneyQuest, and the rest of the West Side.

Usually, however, I head in the other direction, toward the Saratoga Springs Resort & Spa and the Lake Buena Vista Golf Course.

Golfing

Speaking of which, do you golf? If not, consider it. Disney has three very nice courses: the Palm, Magnolia, and Lake Buena Vista Golf Courses. Don’t do it just for the physical activity–I personally know very few people who actually enjoy golf–but because you’re guaranteed three hours or so of relative quiet, walking or driving a cart over grassy hills, wooded fairways, and unpopulated scenery. If you want to golf or go to the driving range and just smack the heck out of a bucket of balls, the clubhouse for the LBV course is across the bridge on the other side of the Sassagoula River. If you have your own clubs, you’re better off parking at Saratoga Springs Resort.

Saratoga Springs Resort & Spa and Other Walks

If you’re not into golfing, you can still cross that bridge to Saratoga Springs. From there you have a couple of options. If you’ve got a lot of time and strong legs, you can walk around the Saratoga Springs Resort campus, which is quite extensive (grab a map from the front desk, or consult one of the many public kiosks they have spread around to help the clueless tourist).

My personal favorite walk is along the water, so I’ll walk along the perimeter of the golf course parking lot or through the Saratoga Springs commercial buildings until I get to Golf Drive. From Golf Drive I walk to Broadway, hang a right, and cross a bridge before making my next right and keeping the water in sight. This takes me around the Congress Park lodge buildings and onto the other side of the Sassagoula River. Saratoga Springs has a nice paved walkway that runs all the way to a pedestrian bridge that takes you to east side of Disney Springs (still called the Marketplace, for those of us old enough to remember when the whole area was called Disney Village Marketplace).

Saratoga Springs’ walkway has plenty of benches and a nice view of Disney Springs across the water. (They used to have some rocking chairs on a nice stone terrace that features a fountain, but those seem to have vanished. Why??? Curses!) What I like best about it, however, is that unlike Disney Springs, there is no background music. I’m not precisely certain why commercial entities like Disney insist on having music everywhere in public spaces. Perhaps it’s for theming. Personally, I believe it’s because they know that background music subliminally annoys people, and so they get up and start walking, talking, or shopping just to get away from it. So, fair warning: there aren’t a lot of actual quiet places in Disney Springs, just places with fewer people in them.

Disney Springs Marketplace

There are some sidewalks that go between the stores and what used to be the bus depot. There aren’t any entrances on that side, but there’s less traffic.

The first relatively quiet place you might find is the Lava Lounge, which is attached to and slightly below the Rainforest Cafe. I say “relatively” because it’s a saloon, and those places can get crowded when afternoon thunderstorms or dinnertime arrive.

From there, you can check out the performance stage in the Marketplace. There’s plenty of seating if they don’t have a band or choir performing. My introverted mother also likes the planter in front of World of Disney, looking toward the stage. “Great for people watching” was her exact quote.

Detours

Before I get too far afield, I should mention another option when you reach the LBV Golf Course. Instead of crossing the bridge to Saratoga Springs, you can continue on the path that follows the Sassagoula River all the way up to Disney’s Old Key West Resort, which is the first Disney Vacation Club property. Again, depending on how vigorous you’re feeling, you can also walk around Old Key West, understanding that while it is more or less circular in its layout, finding the paths that get you all the way around the circle can be hard to find. If you’re looking for a quick/quiet beverage, the Gurgling Suitcase at OKW is worth a stop.

Another detour you can take away from the crowds at Disney Springs is up Hotel Plaza Boulevard. Disney recently installed some very nice pedestrian bridges with stairs and elevators on each side of the road. I’ve walked up to the TraveLodge, crossed the street, and come back.

An additional detour is to keep walking on the sidewalk across from Disney Springs along Buena Vista Drive. You’ll pass the SunTrust Bank, the Walt Disney World Casting building, and a gas station before you come to Team Disney, the WDW administrative building. There’s a pedestrian bridge there that will take you to the Disney Springs Landing and West Side.

The Landing

There’s a stage area between the Boathouse Restaurant and Jock Lindsey’s Hangar Bar, which is an Indiana Jones-themed saloon (“There’s a big snake in the plane, Jock!” “Oh, that’s just my pet snake, Reggie!” “I hate snakes, Jock! I hate ’em!” “Come on, show a little backbone, will ya?”). I don’t see that seating area used very often and there isn’t a lot of shade, but there are some benches for resting and getting out of the traffic flow.

Jock Lindsey’s and Paradiso 37 both have nice outside seating areas and they’re usually pretty quiet between noon and 4:30 (or until the afternoon thunderstorms start).

There’s a walkway behind Raglan Road and Morimoto Asia that’s not as high-traffic–at least it is now, until they open a new restaurant there soon.

Town Center

This is the new section of Disney Springs, which is chock-full of air-conditioned upscale shops. Not a bookstore to be found. However, they do have a Tommy Bahama and a Sprinkles cupcake place where you can get cupcakes out of an ATM. A lot of the stores you see there you could find at your closest upscale mall at home. It is relatively quiet before 10:30 or 11 a.m. and does have one “street” that is roofed over and seems to be air conditioned.

One fun thing I like in the middle of the Town Center is an Archimedean screw that you can turn yourself to bring up water from a water to a higher-level reservoir to keep the waterfall going.

West Side

If you can’t stand the crowds anymore, there is an AMC Theater at West Side. One side has a dine-in theater, with waiters, much more personal space per seat, and a fairly diverse menu. Catch a matinee. My biggest gripe with the place is the smell of the carpet, which has probably seen plenty of hard messes over the years.

The courtyard (“Exposition Park”) between Starbucks and Bongos Cuban Cafe has Disney food trucks stationed there. It’s usually not too crowded mid-afternoon. From there you can reach the walkway that leads along the Sassagoula River and behind most of the restaurants.

Do you like open-air heights? Do you want to get above the crowds? They have a massive balloon at West Side that’ll help you get above it all. The “Characters in Flight” balloon will take you up to 400 feet for sightseeing, weather permitting. Good luck with that.

Several of the saloons on the West Side can be reasonably crowd-free between noon and 4:30: Bongos Cuban Cafe, the upper-floor patio at Splitsville, and the sushi bar inside the Wolfgang Puck Grand Cafe.

If you just need somewhere to sit and get clear of the traffic, the outside seating area by House of Blues is good and reasonably well shaded. It is somewhat less convenient when there is a concert about to happen or when the afternoon thunderstorms pop up. You have been warned.

The last places I’ve identified for resting are the benches on the west side of House of Blues and the south side of Cirque du Soleil. From there, you can find the pathway to (and around) the surface parking…and your car, if you’ve parked it in the back corner.

Awhile back, someone asked me, “How can you deal with all those crowds on your walks?” My answer was simple: “I’m just walking. I’m not talking to them.”

Until next time…

What do you see?

by Bart Leahy, posted in Personal, Writing

Just a middle-aged white guy with short grey hair and Van Dyke beard, wearing a faded green Hawaiian shirt adorned with game fish and boats. He studies the book in front of him with Irish blue eyes that peer out of a florid face and narrow bifocal, Transitions lenses. His arms are hairy and he has a quarter-inch brown mole on the slightly browned skin near the middle of his forearm. All of his skin has a slick sheen of sweat and sunblock. The torso is thick, but not grossly so—just extra fat at the middle and slight love handles. His shorts are baggy and rise above a pair of pale but well-worked legs and scuffed white cross-trainers. His legs are crossed as he sits on a shaded park bench under the hot Florida sun, but his body is more or less relaxed and at ease.

At any moment he will decide he’s had enough with reading, bend over one corner of a page, bound upward, and begin walking. He keeps his gaze on the sidewalk or briefly at the obstacles in his way. His brow furrows and his mouth is turned slightly downward, moving but making no sound. Occasionally he pauses, strokes his beard, tilting his head and nodding before setting off again.

He rarely makes eye contact, merely scanning faces as he arrows through a crowd. His pace, when not lost in rumination, is brisk and his steps long. At a steady four miles per hour, he can get anywhere or nowhere in good time, often sweaty at the end of his march.

Now and then he looks at a building or some piece of nature that attracts his attention. If something really interests him, he pauses, pulls his iPhone from his front pocket, and captures the image before moving on. He is not thinking about anything in particular. He is not angry, merely lost in thought. This is what you see, this is what he does.

Introvert’s Guide to Orlando IV: Magic Kingdom Resorts

by Bart Leahy, posted in introversion, Orlando

Unlike the Magic Kingdom Park, the resorts connected to it by the monorail enjoy a lot more quiet areas for you to break away from the crowds. There are three Magic Kingdom Resorts connected to the park via the monorail: Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort, Disney’s Contemporary Resort (both dating back to the WDW property opening in 1971) and Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa, which opened in 1988. There is a fourth resort that’s technically in the Magic Kingdom Resort Area and can be reached from the park by boat–Disney’s Wilderness Lodge–however because it is not connected via monorail, it is not quite as convenient to reach. Disney’s Fort Wilderness Resort & Campground is nearby as well, but I’d sooner swim in a Florida lake than go camping again, so you’re on your own for advice on that property.

General Guidance

The Polynesian and Grand Floridian both have central buildings where you can find the monorail/bus station, restaurants, merchandise shops, and front desk/concierge. The Grand Floridian has a five-floor Disney Vacation Club (DVC) building near the main hotel building, separated by a themed pool. The Polynesian just added DVC facilities (Disney’s Polynesian Villas and Bunglaows) as stilt buildings out in Seven Seas Lagoon in the past year. The Contemporary has a 14-story central tower building with a three-story wing on one end and a high-rise Disney Vacation Club property–Bay Lake Tower–connected by sidewalk or fourth-floor covered walking bridge on the other.

All three of the MK “monorail resorts” are considered in Disney’s deluxe category due to their amenities, room sizes, services, and convenience to the park. That means you’ll be paying a whole lot more for your stay when you go there ($289/night and up). The Grand Floridian is the most expensive resort on the WDW property.

The campuses of all three resorts are large, pleasant, and big enough that quiet places to walk can be easily found. The main building lobbies can be relatively quiet, too, as long as you’re there when it’s not check-in or checkout time (roughly 9-11 a.m. and 2-5 p.m.). If you’re a night owl, the areas are always open and comfy furniture can be found easily. I’ll get into each resort’s features in a bit. Each of the MK resorts has its own beach. However, due to a recent alligator attack–the first in 45 years, I hasten to add–they now have rope-net fences at the water’s edge to keep humans on one side and critters on the other.

As my friend Sean put it, truthfully, the quietest place you’ll find in the resorts is your own hotel room, so if you’re staying in a Magic Kingdom resort, you’re set when it comes to finding a place to take a break.

Transportation

The Contemporary has a walking path to the Magic Kingdom main gate so you can avoid the monorail if you so choose. There is also a walking path connecting the Transportation and Ticket Center (TTC), the Polynesian, Disney’s Wedding Pavilion, and the Grand Floridian. This is useful if you enjoy walking and want to get to the Epcot monorail. In general, the Resort monorail line, which runs clockwise around Seven Seas Lagoon, has shorter lines than the Magic Kingdom monorail. The tradeoff is that the resort monorail stops at Magic Kingdom, TTC, and every resort on the line. The MK monorail stops only at Magic Kingdom and TTC.

There is also a ferry boat that runs from TTC to Magic Kingdom directly. The lines can be shorter during the day (after the park has already opened), but you end up waiting longer for the boats to go back and forth. They’re ferries, not hydrofoils. There are also resort “steamer”-type launches that run from MK to the Poly and Grand (notice my cast member lingo is starting to kick in here) as well as somewhat larger boats that run from MK to the Contemporary, Fort Wilderness, and the Wilderness Lodge.

I probably should’ve noted this when I was discussing Magic Kingdom Park, but the system is rigged against you if you want to take a mid-day nap and you’re not staying at a Magic Kingdom resort/hotel. If you’re taking the buses anywhere, you’re looking at 30-40 minutes to get somewhere: 15-20 minutes (average) to wait for a bus and 15-20 minutes to get to your destination. If you’re using your own car, you’ve got to wait for the monorail/ferry/boat, ride said conveyance, and then get to your car to drive back to your hotel. Factor in that sort of time if you’re going to and from the park more than once in the day.

Now for some detailed introvert time at each resort…

Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort/Villas/Bungalows

The Poly is the only MK Resort with a quiet pool. And by quiet, that doesn’t mean that you won’t have kids there, but you will not have a Recreation cast member on a megaphone trying to get people involved in trivia games and the like. It also has a snack bar and adult-beverage bar.

There is also an outside seating area with a couple of grills in the courtyard between the Pago Pago and Moorea buildings. As long as no one is setting up to use the grill for a picnic, you’re set.

For something different, weather permitting, you can rent one-person speed boats or an eight-person pontoon boat, which I’m pretty certain someone else pilots.

The Poly campus is pretty spread out, so you can walk in and around the buildings and beach, from the TTC to the Wedding Pavilion without encountering a whole lot of people as long as you avoid the main building.

If you want to grab a sweet snack, the Pineapple Lanai just behind the Great Ceremonial House (i.e., main building) has some soft-serve ice cream (vanilla, pineapple, or a swirl). My sister and I have grabbed a shot of Myers’ Rum from the pool bar (main pool or quiet pool) and then brought that over to pour into our soft serve. Just sayin’.

Speaking of adult beverages, the Tambu Lounge, the saloon attached to ‘Ohana (the main restaurant) is nice and quiet from early afternoon until around 4:30 p.m. ‘Ohana starts seating at 3:30, but things don’t really start getting loud (cast members calling groups to their tables) until a bit later. The outside part of Trader Sam’s is pretty sedate, though they do have a guy playing ukelele and singing Polynesian songs once the saloon is open (around 4:30-5). The inside part of Trader Sam’s is…um, not relaxing for an introvert. Cast member singing, lots of “atmosphere,” show/schtick tied to specific, attention-getting drinks, and restaurant fixtures that light up and make noise. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I like the lobby at the Poly. I liked it better when they had a big, frickin’ volcano and waterfall in the middle of it (gave the place some character), but the ground and second floors are nice and cool in the summer and pretty sedate when there aren’t a lot of people hustling about–again, usually between noon and 3 or after 7 p.m.

Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa

Like the Poly, the Grand Floridian has a pretty spacious campus, though much of it is centered around the main building or the main pool and there aren’t a lot of waterside paths to walk around. However, the individual buildings are quiet and well air conditioned. The main lobby is worth a visit just to look up and say “wow.”

Remember that part about there not being a quiet pool? That’s the case at the Grand. If you want to sit outside somewhere and not listen to Trivia Game X, your best bet is the patio outside the quick-service restaurant, Gasparilla Grill. There are also a couple of nice benches down the sidewalk from Gasparilla across from the marina. They’re shaded and a good place to collect your thoughts.

I mentioned the lobby before, but a couple other things: the atrium space is so large, it absorbs a lot of sound. Also, from around 3 to 10 p.m. the people in the lobby are treated to either a cast member playing beautifully on a massive grand piano or a ragtime band that is situated on the second-floor balcony opposite from the entrance. Both forms of entertainment are worth hearing. You can tip the piano player, and he will take requests. There’s also a decent saloon behind the band stand on the second floor: Mizner’s Lounge. It’s open in the afternoon and usually stays pretty sedate. They have TVs there, but they won’t turn them up for your favorite sports game because the band is playing. Fair warning.

Some of the restaurants at the Grand are actually your best bet for finding relative quiet. Like the Epcot resorts, this is simply because they’re so expensive families don’t want to waste the money taking their kids there. The Grand also has the most restaurants and saloons of any single property, except perhaps the BoardWalk. Victoria & Albert’s, the penultimate Victorian-style upscale dining experience, is also the most expensive food and beverage on property. I’ve been there but never eaten there. My dad and bonus mom have been there a few times. They tell me it’s nice, but you do have to make some pretense at dressing up (in a Florida sort of way). Here’s what the Disney Food Blog says:

The official dress code for these restaurants states:

“Men: Khakis, slacks, jeans, dress shorts, collared shirts. Sport coats are optional.
Ladies: Capris, skirts, dresses, jeans, dress shorts.
Not permitted in dining room: Tank tops, swimwear, hats for gentleman, cut offs, or torn clothing. While T-shirts are now allowed, the policy remains that T-shirts with offensive language or graphics are not acceptable.”

Two other restaurants at the Grand fit under this dress code: Narcoossee’s and Citrico’s. Both restaurants have excellent views–Citrico’s of the main pool and courtyard, Narcoossee’s of Magic Kingdom and Seven Seas Lagoon and pretty decent food. Of the two, I prefer Narcoossee’s, for the food, view, and the atmosphere.

And of course the Grand has one feature that is practically wired for introverts: the Spa. It features a variety of massages, facials, mani/pedi services, as well as saunas. It’s expensive. It’s worth it.

Oh, and speaking of the Spa, there’s an outside seating area with a couple grills next to it. Just another place to chill…assuming no one’s grilling…or if you want to be the one grilling.

Disney’s Contemporary Resort

I like this resort the best of the Magic Kingdom Resorts because I’m a science fiction geek, though the Grand comes in a close second. That said, I’m a tad afraid of heights, so the open-air hallways of the main building might be something to think about if you share that affliction. The place is known for having the monorail go right through the building and for having a mural by Pablo Picasso adorning the central column of the concourse (for fun, try to find the five-legged ram, which Picasso added, I’ve been told, because nothing is perfect–Disney was not amused).

In addition to the monorail station, most of the restaurants and merchandise stores are on the fourth floor, so that’s where most of the action/noise is. One place I’ve found that is usually relatively person-free, if not necessarily quiet, is the video game arcade. Same at the Grand Floridian. They get a little busier before dinner time, when parents are looking for ways to keep the kids distracted until their reservation comes up.

One of the nicer saloons on property is in The Wave off the Contemporary’s first-floor lobby. It’s not always quiet, but there are a couple of side rooms off the bar, and the turnover at the bar is pretty fast, as people are usually there to have a drink until their table is ready. If you’re so inclined, try the “Bacon and Eggs” appetizer. Trust me.

Though it’s been years since I ate there, the California Grill on the 14th floor has a fantastic aesthetic and view over Seven Seas Lagoon for watching the Magic Kingdom fireworks. I think the balcony is still open to restaurant guests during dining hours, but I wouldn’t swear to it. That’s a great view, and might be worth paying a lot for very small, artsy portions and California wines.

The Contemporary and the Grand both have convention centers attached. If there isn’t a convention going on during your visit, you can walk through said convention center and enjoy the cool, the quiet, and the aesthetics.

Another quiet area outside is the walking/sitting area between the hotel tower and the Bay Lake Tower. They’ve got benches, lounge chairs, and a fire pit there, which probably gets more traffic in the evening but is quiet during the day.

Disney’s Wilderness Lodge

Okay, as I said before, the Lodge is not connected to the monorail, which almost places it outside this entry. However, it is reachable by boat, as I noted above. And quite frankly, if you’re not staying there, the Lodge is worth taking a side trip to see anyway. It’s gorgeous. Lots of big timber in a multi-story lobby atrium with an artificial river course that starts with an bubbling spring inside the lobby and proceeds through the outside courtyard, connects (theoretically) to the pool area, and then eventually settles down into Bay Lake. interior aesthetics are American Old West: lots of dark colors, Native American artifacts and patterns in the carpets, comfy leather chairs, and a massive stone fireplace and chimney.

Like the Grand Floridian, the Lodge’s lobby space is so big that it tends to absorb a lot of the ambient noise, including the front desk and the main family restaurant, Whispering Canyon. There are seating areas on the second floor, both indoor and outdoor, that allow you to get above the noise and read with few disturbances beyond the occasional other guests in the area.

The quietest place for eating is Artist Point, which is a quite good restaurant with views of the Lodge’s courtyard and waterfall. It’s on the expensive side and so relatively child-free. The quietest place for having an adult beverage is the Territory Lounge, which is probably the place on Disney property that most matches the description “saloon.” Lots of heavy wood, cowboy and Western landscape paintings on the walls, and a couple of massive TVs for watching sports events. When there aren’t games on the place is pretty quiet. It can get crowded otherwise.

Wilderness Lodge has added a DVC section as well (The Villas at Disney’s Wilderness Lodge), which has similar aesthetics and is also quieter than the hotel side.

If you’re walking around the Villas, you might find a map to the walking path that leads you to Fort Wilderness Resort & Campground. I took the path once–it’s maybe a mile or so–before finding the Fort Wilderness bus stop. If you don’t need the bus stop, walk along the path until you see buildings and then head back. The paved path moves mostly through cypress forest, so you won’t get burned too badly in the Florida sun. However, there aren’t a lot of benches or other things to see. This is just a quiet path to get from one place to another with very few other distractions.

I’ll take requests, so if there are parts of Orlando you’d like me to cover next, let me know.

An Introvert’s Guide to Orlando III: Magic Kingdom Park

by Bart Leahy, posted in introversion, Personal

I was tempted to post, “You’re kidding, right?” Magic Kingdom is the original theme park on Disney’s Florida property. From 1971 to 1982, it was the only park. A larger version of Disneyland Park in California, Magic Kingdom has the most rides, the most fame, some of the longest lines, and the most traffic. If you’re an introverted adult and you find yourself going there, brace yourself. It’s a beautiful place with a lot of fun attractions, but the crowds are huge, loud, and bustling.

General advice

Like I said, Magic Kingdom has the most stuff in it and the largest crowds. If you have the opportunity, try to take on the park using a targeted strategy of some sort to reduce wear and tear on your patience:

  • Use Fastpass for your favorite rides. Really, Fastpass is a no-brainer for all of the Disney Theme Parks, but it definitely makes sense at Magic Kingdom. If you’re unfamiliar with Fastpass, it’s basically a reservation for a window of time to arrive in the queue for a particular attraction. Yes, you still stand in line, but it’s not nearly as long as the time you’d spend standing in the regular “standby” line. While you’re waiting for the Fastpass window to open for your favorite attractions, you can wait in standby lines for other attractions. My understanding of the system is that you get up to three Fastpass attractions per day. (I walk around the parks for exercise, I don’t actually go on a lot of rides when I use my Annual Pass.)
  • Take two days to visit the park instead of trying to do it all in one. Like I said, there’s a lot to see and do, especially if you’ve never been there before. Don’t let yourself get frazzled trying to do everything in a day. If you’re there for a day or you’ve been there before, just hit your favorites.
  • Take a break. This is pretty common practice, going back to when I was a kid and there was only one park. The idea being, you go to the park starting around opening time and do stuff for 4-5 hours. Then, assuming you’re at a Disney Resort, go back to your hotel and take a nap. Or, if you’re not staying on property, maybe just visit one of the Magic Kingdom Resorts and get away from the crowds and the heat. After you’ve rested, you can go back for the parade or fireworks.
  • Watch the parades and fireworks from Frontierland or Liberty Square. The biggest crowds are on Main Street because that’s where they have the most lights and, of course, the clearest view of Cinderella Castle. However, I’ve been able to see the fireworks just fine from the other two areas I just mentioned and sometimes the Castle as well.
  • Ride the attractions during the parades. Assuming they’re still open, the attractions  outside of Main Street U.S.A., Liberty Square, and Frontierland should have shorter standby lines because everyone’s at the parade. Watch the parade or fireworks a different day.
  • Leave before the fireworks start or as they are starting. My introverted father started me on this habit: I leave before the fireworks start. I used to think he was being a spoil sport until I started disliking large, noisy crowds. This is now such a normal part of my Disney habits, I don’t think I’ve actually watched Magic Kingdom fireworks from inside the park more than half a dozen times in 40 years. Instead, I watch them from the monorail, from one of the Disney Resorts, or even the parking lot. If it’s a new fireworks show and I have the time to wait for the crowds to disperse, I’ll watch and wait it out. Otherwise, adios.

Finding an actual quiet spot is a dubious proposition. However, there are a few places you can go where you’re not likely to find as many people or as much population density. If you need a place to really decompress and get away from the crowds, you’ll probably need to leave the park. There really aren’t a lot of “quiet seasons,” as there are at Epcot, which also is not as high-density a park.

Fantasyland

The best place I’ve found to avoid the crowds inside MK is actually in Fantasyland, which has the most attractions (the Disney word for rides). There is a small area on the west side of Fantasyland, on the path heading from It’s a Small World toward the Haunted Mansion. It’s actually partially fenced off from the traffic flow and has some benches and tables for sitting. Not a lot of shade, but some. Pull over there and relax.

Tomorrowland

Sometime in the last few years, Disney added a walkway between Space Mountain and Goofy’s Barnstormer. It runs between the Walt Disney World Railroad and the Tomorrowland Speedway. It has quite a bit of shade, though it’s possible that you have to pass a smoking section.

Liberty Square

Just a guess–it’s been a while since I visited the attraction, but the Hall of Presidents usually doesn’t have a really long line. After all, you didn’t go to Magic Kingdom to get educated or enjoy the quiet, did you? Oh, you did? Never mind. Give it a shot.

Main Street, U.S.A.

Okay, yes, this is the entry area of the park, and so subject to crowds. However, during the day, there are a couple places you might get out of the main traffic flow. As part of a larger refurbishment project they completed last year, Disney added to the number of footpaths and sidewalks between Main Street and Cinderella Castle. This extra walking space does a couple of things: it allows more space for walking around parade crowds as well as for watching the fireworks. However, when there aren’t parades or fireworks going on, some of the side paths allow you to get out of the traffic flow.

There’s also a pathway they added “behind” one side between Main Street and Tomorrowland. I’m not certain if it’s open all the time, but when it is as a traffic flow measure, you can use it to get from the Tomorrowland Terrace area to nearly Tony’s Town Square at the front of the park.

Adventureland

Again, this is a less busy rather than a quiet place, but the Swiss Family Treehouse can get you off the sidewalks for a bit.

Frontierland

Another sidewalk addition Disney added to aid traffic flow is along the riverfront–the walkway is actually a set of wooden piers in the midst of the river. When there are parades going on, the sidewalk eases traffic. When there aren’t parades going on, it’s a speedy way to get from the Splash Mountain/Big Thunder Mountain area to Liberty Square and Haunted Mansion.

Transportation area

The best quiet spot at Magic Kingdom is outside the gate but nearby. Back in the mid-1990s, Disney decided to sell a bunch of hexagonal bricks (around $100 a piece) as a way to fund a walkway that runs in front of the park. It’s hard to find because it’s actually attached to the Magic Kingdom Gold Boat Launch. You reach the boat launch by walking toward the Resort Monorail and then turning toward the boat dock. If there’s no line at the boat dock, you can walk past the boat queue and onto this great sidewalk that runs a good quarter or half mile in front of the park, heading in the direction of the Grand Floridian Resort.

There are a couple benches at the end of the sidewalk, if memory serves, and from there you can watch the monorails and boats on Seven Seas Lagoon go by, but I don’t know if there are any places to sit along the path. There are trees along the path, though, and really just a whole lot less noise. That’s your best bet to find a quiet spot at Magic Kingdom.

I’ll take on the Magic Kingdom Resorts at some point. No, really!

For the Love of Writing

by Bart Leahy, posted in Fiction, Personal, Writing

In a posthumous release of his correspondence, science fiction writer Robert A. Heinlein reported to a friend that he had not been writing and had felt miserable and sick with a cold that wouldn’t go away, but once he started writing again, he felt 100% better. Something similar can happen to anyone who feels the creative urge.

Writing, for those of us who treat it as a natural and necessary part of ourselves, is essential to our health. It can be the source of our income, to be sure, but it is also sustenance itself. The very act of writing feeds our soul and helps us sort out the world. Writing is there to help us make a roadmap through the world, calm us when we’re irritable, allow us to rant and vent our rage when doing so publicly would be socially unacceptable. Creating something new–especially new worlds, characters, or situations–is exercise for the imagination.

It’s sad but true: my fiction writing has dwindled over the years. In fact, I can directly trace my loss in fictional productivity to starting my career as a paid technical writer. I dropped from writing anything from half a dozen to a dozen stories a year to two or three to one to writing every other year. I felt sad at the change but considered it a necessary by-product of spending all my day in front of a computer, hacking out words for other people’s use. By the time I got home, I had very little energy to write for myself.

In truth, my imagination has gotten flabby, much like my body can do due to lack of exercise. I have a lot of incomplete stories in my files–stuff I started and dropped because I felt the ideas stupid or the execution lacking and I lacked the energy or interest to rethink the story and fix it.

It’s one thing to write bad fiction (and trust me, I have plenty–note that I’m a professional technical writer, not a professional fiction writer). It’s something else again to transform the sow’s ear into a silk purse. That requires inspiration, alchemy, and careful feeding of the Muses, but mostly it demands a lot of hard work and a commitment to Heinlein’s dictum that “You must write. You must finish what you write.” After a long day at the office, it can be very easy to go slack on your own stuff, especially if no editors are clamoring for it and you have no deadlines to meet. So I’ve been lazy.

I’ve also been somewhat down lately. Lots of little things piled on to give me a Class A First World funk. Trust me, given a choice I’ll take my problems over anyone else’s any day, but that’s not to say that the marvels of middle age don’t vex me from time to time. I have worries and annoyances and things in my life that irritate me or make me seriously unhappy, just like everyone else. So yesterday morning I made a list of a dozen things I needed to do to get some feeling of control over my grouchy disposition. By the end of the day, I’d done maybe two. I went home from a social gathering feeling less than productive and not particularly proud of myself.

As I am prone to do when I’m in a funk, I lecture myself. I was giving myself a good earful in traffic about my general laziness and ingratitude for the gifts I’d been given in life when something strange began happening in the long-neglected imagination center in my brain. Hey, you know you could write a story about that, my subconscious was saying. My conscious mind stopped lecturing and said, “What?” Yeah, my imagination continued, you could write about someone seriously gifted going lazy. Why would he do that? What would make a genetically modified super-genius decide to underperform? So my logical conscious mind joined in the fun and started playing with ideas.

The story had practically written itself in the back of my brain by the time I got home. At least I had the structure, the main character, and the motivation. The rest was filling in the blanks. I think the story ran around six pages. Maybe ten. Whatever. But wow, did I feel better afterward! I had accomplished something, I had done something creative again, and I slept with the comfort of being myself again. My subconscious, rewarded for doing such a good job and nudging me out of my funk, treated me to a lot of various and confusing dreams, but it was like, “Okay, you wrote that, so here’s a bunch of other thoughts I’ve been storing up. What about this? What about this? What about this?” It’s a blur now, but there was enough stuff churning around that I’m sure the important thoughts will come back.

And all it took to restore myself was writing again. If I was feeling really ambitious, I’d try to get that story published, but let’s not get crazy. Silencing the inner critic is a blog for another day. For now, all I can recommend to writers who are in a funk is the same old rock ‘n’ roll: write it down, baby. Get it all out. You’ll feel a lot better.

What Myths Shape Your Reality?

by Bart Leahy, posted in Fiction, Personal, Philosophy, Writing

Heroes

Human beings have been telling each other stories for millennia. Why? What, exactly, is a story, and why do we bother?

A story is a narrative about an individual or group in conflict with the universe–another person or people, nature, forces within, etc. A story includes moments of danger and suspense: will the hero(ine) survive? Will they succeed in their mission? How will that success occur?

Stories fulfill a deep need in our natures for our existence to make sense. We want to believe that we can overcome dangers that face us in this universe. We want to believe that the values we defend mean something and that, even if our existence ends, those values will continue on after our death. The interplay of good and evil (or protagonist and antagonist) engages our emotions. The ratcheting up of suspense adds to the suspense of the moment and raises the stakes. All these things tell us what stories do, but they don’t tell us what stories can and do say.

Looking over human history, we’ve had stories that involved gods–superhuman versions of ourselves–as well as human heroes and villains, dragons and other terrifying creatures. We have told stories that challenged the forces of nature; defined ourselves as independent beings; saved villages or nations; fought tyrants or ambitious people like ourselves; and confronted the dark forces of the emotions or motives within ourselves. We continue to tell stories that force us to confront the dangers of the technologies we create or the evil we do in the present day.

Sometimes we tell these stories in the language of the present day. Sometimes we set them in the past. Sometimes we set them in the future. Sometimes we set them in realities completely different from our own. The motives for storytelling–even if the environments, moral structures, heroes/heroines, or tactics and tools change–remain the same. We are always trying to explain ourselves to ourselves. The stories that impressed me the most at an impressionable age were from science fiction and religion, giving me forever an interest in science, technology, and philosophy.

So the question I have for you is: which stories have you read (or written for yourself)? Which stories resonated with you and told you, in a convincing way, “Yes, life is like this, it’s about this, we should be this?”

 

How Original Are You?

by Bart Leahy, posted in Personal, Philosophy, Writing

It’s taken my over 30 years, but I’ve come to realize that being intelligent or a quick thinker doesn’t necessarily make you original. I wrote a lot of fiction in my youth (8-28), but that activity eventually passed. I became more interested in studying what other, brighter minds than mine had created. Some of that might be based on my day job, technical writing, wherein I translate engineering concepts (developed by someone else) into prose that other people can use on a practical basis. I’m not flashy in my writing, nor particularly emotional or dynamic. There’s a reason I’m a technical writer, not a marketing copywriter.

I really should have been a history writer, recording the thoughts and actions of brighter, better minds. And I might still do that some day.

What set me on this train of thought was not a rereading of my own writing (egad, perish the thought!), but simply reading about the history of a country I plan to visit someday soon. There were people in that nation’s past with more ambition, more exciting lives, more ability to change the world than I will ever have. In the present day, I can work for those people–Jason Hundley at Zero Point Frontiers and Darlene Cavalier at Science Cheerleader are true forces of nature–and I have just enough talent to be able to translate their ideas into something practical. I just lack the ambition or imagination to be them or to create the same level of dramatic enterprise.

Perhaps this is why I’m happily middle class, or middle management. I can execute other people’s brilliant ideas, I just don’t have the talent to come up with the bright ideas myself. And the thing is, at some level I’m okay with that. Changing the world involves too much struggle and aggravation. And, again, maybe being “bright” just isn’t good enough. If you’ve ever seen the movie or play Amadeus, I’m more like a contented Salieri than an effortlessly brilliant Mozart. I work to pay the bills, quite often. I’m not writing for the sheer joy of creation. I envy those people whose minds are exploding with new ideas…but would I want to be them? Not necessarily.

I have become a conduit and amplifier of brighter people’s good ideas. Am I okay with that? I suppose I’ll have to be. As was said in a Star Trek episode, “You can’t just wake up and say, ‘Today I will be brilliant’.” Raw talent can’t be taught. I’ve got to make the best of who and what I am. That’s not so bad, is it?

Feeding the Beast Properly

by Bart Leahy, posted in Personal, Uncategorized

Just what everyone wants to read about…someone else’s diet history. There’s a point to this, really. Read on if you’re interested in doing things to improve your health and (maybe) your body mass.

On the way to becoming Homer Simpson

For most of my life I have not been a “health food” nut. Or an exercise fanatic. In fact, until my 30s, I was pretty much an eat-what-I-want-don’t-exercise kind of guy. Okay, sure, I rode my bike or took walks around my neighborhood, but it wasn’t with any sort of health plan in mind. Then my 30s hit. That super-duper young-guy metabolism started wearing down a bit.

So I tried a few things–cutting back on this, eating more of that, and really things just weren’t improving. By 2012, I was a Homer Simpson weight, and that wasn’t good. I started doing serious reading on the subject, which for me was the only proper way to learn anything. I started getting more strategic–being conscious about my eating and exercising choices.

In 2014, I had the opportunity to help a friend write a class for Florida Hospital patients about to enter the baryatric surgery program there. That was an eye opener because while I was writing for people in much worse shape than I was, I could see what direction I was heading. And I also saw that advice meant for the seriously obese also could work for someone not-quite-as-fat as I was. I spent the money on a YMCA membership and talked to one of the coaches about reducing my personal level of “marbling.” Exercise is one part of the calorie-reduction equation (about 25%); a major part, however (65% or so), is the food I’m using to fuel my body. That needed to be fixed.

Unfeeding the beast

One of the most important things I learned in the process of writing that class was how to fix my diet. Not go full-Vegan or Mediterranean or Atkins or Pick-Your-Fad Diet of the Week. The goal of the Florida Hospital program (and, as a result, my own personal program) was simply to establish better, permanent eating habits. This focused on several things: what I ate, how much I ate, and when I ate.

Fixing what I was eating was surprisingly simple. A lot of it boiled down to eliminating processed foods from my diet. What’s a processed food? Pretty much anything that isn’t a direct plant or animal part. If it’s on the shelves instead of in a refrigerator, that means it’s got preservatives in it, and preservatives are bad. More to the point, the process of extending the shelf life of a food also means that you’re sucking out nutrients. Oh yeah, and all that great Chicago food–heavy fats, extra beef, deep frying–that had to be cut back severely. To like once a week. Or once a month. Or once a quarter. Or once a year.

Just to make things more complicated, while I was approaching horrific size, I was also having acid reflux (though that would take a couple years to diagnose) and sleep apnea, both of which can be brought on by poor diet. Just to make things worse, the combination of poor diet, minimal exercise, acid reflux, and sleep apnea were all reinforcing each other.

Controlling how much I eat has been an ongoing challenge, but a lot of it boils down to portion size–does the whole mess on your plate equate to a mass larger than the size of your whole fist? If so, it’s probably time to cut back. Also, most American restaurant portions are at least twice what you really need. I needed to go into a place looking to eat appetizers for dinner or expecting to bring home leftovers.

As to when I ate…that probably wasn’t as big a deal at home, but at the office, well-meaning coworkers had a tendency to bring stuff into the office, or my employer would graciously stock up on snacks. Most of it was usually bad for me, so those snacks had to go. And one of the biggest things I did? Quit sodas and juices. The acid reflux made it more or less a necessity. I could drink that stuff and feel like my throat was being clenched by Darth Vader or I could drink water and not feel that way. No contest. Oh, and as a result of quitting the soda, 20 pounds disappeared and pretty much stayed off after that. I could quit alcohol as well, but good grief, why take all the enjoyment out of life?

Specific shopping advice

What I really wanted to share in this post was some constructive advice on what to buy at the grocery store. It’s done me some good. Hopefully it will help you as well.

  • As noted above, try to eat natural foods. By that I mean actual plants or animal products, not things that have been processed in some way. A “process” can be defined as anything that extends the shelf life of an otherwise-plant or -animal product and take it out of the refrigerated section. Most of these foods can be found on the perimeter of your typical American grocery store.
  • Avoid the foods in the aisles. Again, anything “dry” or with a long shelf life has a lot of preservatives and a lot of nutrients taken out.
  • Eat only the serving size at one sitting. That helps you better gauge how many calories you’re actually consuming and it helps your food last longer. Most packages (again, if it’s in a package, that’s usually a sign that it’s been processed somehow) contain more than one serving size.
  • Reduce the amount of sugar and salt you’re consuming. This includes variations on sugar, like high fructose corn syrup, or sugar substitutes–and anything that contains them. You know what I’m talking about: cookies, cakes, desserts, anything with a nutritional information label that includes “additional sugars,” and any other thing that’s probably also going to rot your teeth.
  • Focus on fish or chicken as a source of protein or, if you’re more plant-friendly, beans or other things that contain protein but don’t come from an animal. Beef is bad for a couple reasons: it’s high in saturated fat, which is bad for your weight and also can affect anyone with acid reflux (ahem).
  • Choose whole-grain breads instead of plain white bread. The flour used to make white bread is processed like nobody’s business and so has little to no nutritional value.
  • If you find yourself craving snacks, buy things that are also direct plant or animal products like fruits, nuts, or cheese.

Is that all?

Actually, despite all this sage advice I’ve just dispensed, I’m now taking a specific class on maintaining a healthy diet through A Whole New Life because while these rules seem pretty straightforward, they also struck me as boring.  I’ve been in an ongoing struggle for the last 3-4 years with trying to find foods that are:

  • Delicious
  • Filling
  • Good for me

Usually I get two out of three. (I remain overweight in part because I haven’t been able to find foods that work for me.) I’m hoping the new diet coach has some recipes or things I can try that fit all three criteria. My goal, after all, is to eat well and happily into my 90s. I sort of have my mother’s philosophy on eating: “I could live into my 90s by eating only the right foods, but good grief, why would I want to?” With that mindset in mind, my goal as I reach beyond mid-life is to eat foods that won’t kill me while also eating foods that won’t make me wish I were dead. Is that too much to ask?