This has been a tumultuous year. In fact, there’s been so much going on, I haven’t had a lot of time to think through all that’s happened or how I feel about it. This post is that attempt.
Sobriety
Much to my surprise, I’ve now gone 1,400+ days without alcohol. That lack of depressant and inhibition eliminator has done a lot to help my emotions level off. No massive euphoria, no crushing depression. Still possibly the best choice I’ve made for myself in my 50s.
Creativity
Somewhere along the line, I Iost my creative voice. I wrote my last bit of short fiction a year ago, my last novel three years ago. Now that could be a side-effect of my not wanting to share my political views because there are too many people willing to engage in mob violence for any reason. It also might be the result of being sober. Alcohol fueled my emotional imbalances, and fiction was my primary coping mechanism (when I wasn’t drinking…or sometimes when I was). I’ve had to find other methods for dealing with what bothers me, and fiction has no longer been that outlet. While I do miss writing fiction for fun, a whole bunch of inhibitions creep up and stop me. My younger self might’ve been a drunk, but he was at least fearless about expressing himself in story form.
Employment
I started the year earning my living from two freelance contracts. In January, I was told the contract that had been my primary source of income for eight years was coming to an end. I started looking for work I could acquire quickly and turned to my network in Huntsville. That resulted in a short but lucrative space contract that caused my other customer to ask me cease employment with them as they saw that as a conflict of interest even if the work did not overlap with their part of the space business at all. Fine.
After the temporary space contract ended, for the first time in ten years, I accepted full-time work as an employee rather than a contractor. This was mostly the result of laziness–I didn’t want to spend a lot of time constantly looking for the next gig–and partly opportunity (i.e., a former freelancing customer asked if he could hire me outright rather than just take me on as a consultant). Not going to lie: that’s been pretty remarkable…the steady income and savings on healthcare costs alone make the change worth it.
And for the first time in ten years, I have only ONE paying job and ONE volunteer commitment. I’m going to go wild with all the free time, you betcha.
Living Situation
In addition to getting engaged and married (first time for everything, even in your mid-50s), I moved into a single-family house instead of an apartment or condo. The back yard has a fence to contain a couple of dogs–something else I’ve never lived with before.
Finances
The sale of my previous home allowed me to pay off my credit card debt for the first time in seven years. That’s been pretty magical.
Attitudes Toward My Livelihood
I don’t blog about technical writing at the moment. I decreased my posts from twice a week in 2021 to once a week in 2022 to once a month in 2023 to…no more after August 31. Part of that reduction was a side effect of not having enough time. Part of it is laziness. That’s a LOT of writing! Plus, as with my creative writing, I was running out of things to say. I’ve dispensed most of the wisdom I think I have to share (you can always buy the book if you want the highlights).
As for the industry I work in, I learned early on not to overshare what’s going on with my employer or customers. I would say that a recent talk by former NASA Administrator Mike Griffin made a big impression on me. I think he’s right about this: NASA is a national security program run under civilian auspices. We do big things in space to show others that we’re better than them in some technological/economic sense. That hasn’t changed much since the agency was formed, we just don’t talk about it much. Which is to say we still need NASA and still need them capable of building huge, audacious space projects (like SLS).
Education
For a while, I kept toying with getting another academic credential of some kind to make myself more marketable (and keep myself employed/fed). The ideas varied over the years, from engineering to instructional design to a Ph.D. in technical writing. Now I have to face the hard fact that it would take me a lot longer to finish another degree…and I’m 11 years from the current-standard retirement age (go ahead and do the math, I’ll wait). Plus, I’m pretty confident that my work history, experience, and self-discipline can now keep me employed more than a flashy degree. Does my ego require me to be called Doctor Leahy? Not really.
Travel & Reading
With my trusty wife at my side, I’ve been taking direct action on buying and reading the books I’ve wanted to read and traveling where I wanted to travel. Those are my primary intellectual pursuits now, and they suffice. I’ve got plenty filling my brain at the moment–still learning the new job as well as how to be a good husband and dog father.
That enough for one year? I think so.