I could have sworn I wrote a review of one of my cruises, but apparently, I haven’t. Today I’ll try to rectify that, focusing on the most recent Disney Cruise Line (DCL) voyage Mrs. L and I took to Alaska. Full Disclosure: Mrs. L and I are both former Disney cast members (12 years for me, 15 for her), so we’re a bit more critical about some things; that said, given that we no longer work there, the opinions written here are mine and do not reflect the policies or opinions of Disney Cruise Line, etc., etc.).
First of all, those who know me might ask, “Why are you going on a cruise if you’re such an introvert? And why Disney, for gosh sakes?” or words to that effect. Indeed, there might be good reasons for an introvert not to choose cruising (or specifically Disney) as a vacation style:
- Do you dislike large, rowdy parties (i.e., “party boats” or “fun ships”)?
- Are you annoyed by screaming children (a definite DCL risk)?
- Do you just want to go somewhere and don’t really care how your cabin looks?
Okay, fine. So why should you consider a Disney Cruise?
- Do you have warm, fuzzy nostalgia for Disney entertainment (movies, TV shows, live entertainment)?
- Do you appreciate attention to design details and environment theming?
- Do you appreciate “family-friendly” entertainment?
- Are you not fond of gambling?
If you said yes to the first group of questions, DCL isn’t for you. If you said yes to the second group of questions, you might give it a look. And while the entries are a few years old now, I have developed ways for introverts to enjoy touristy places.
The Booking/Pre-Cruise Experience
For DCL, you can work through a travel agent, book online directly (and hand it off to a T/A w/in 30 days if you want), or call the cruise line ((800) 951-3532). Booking online directly allows you to see where your cabin will be, so that’s worth doing, in my opinion. Once you book your cruise, you’ll get a friendly, “You’re Bibbidi Bobbidi Booked” email from DCL providing your confirmation number and highlighting other stuff you can book for your trip.
A word, though, about price. There’s no getting around it: Disney cruises are not cheap. In fact, my observation has been that the same itinerary (say, Port Canaveral to Nassau and the cruise line’s private island, which all of them seem to have) will set you back 1.5 to 3 times as much or more. There is a bit of apples-and-oranges comparing that needs to be factored in, of course. A newer ship on Royal Caribbean Cruise Line (RCCL) will be more expensive than an older one. Then there are the relative sizes of the ships. Disney’s largest ship, aside from the Disney Adventure (I’m leaving this one out because it’s based in Singapore), which was purchased from another line, can handle up to 4,116 passengers while RCCL’s Icon-class behemoths are the largest cruise ships afloat and can handle up to 7,600 passengers. And there’s a lot more stuff on RCCL’s ships in the way of restaurants, activities, and so forth. What they might lack in the way of intellectual property they make up for with busy-ness on board.
All that is to say when you pay 2-3X for a Disney fare, you’re paying for the name recognition, the characters, the theming, the family-friendly atmosphere, and (if you have kids) Disney-property IP-related entertainment on one whole deck of the ship.
The part Mrs. L and I dislike the most about DCL is the check-in process. You check in 35 days out from your cruise to upload your passports, photos, and emergency contact information (varies by your “Castaway Club” membership level…we’re creeping up on Platinum, which will improve how soon we can check in). The earlier you check in (after exactly 0000 hours Eastern Time), the earlier your boarding group to get on the ship, much like the way Southwest Airlines handled their check-in for flights. The reason we dislike this part of DCL is that there’s pressure. You have to check all of the boxes, make sure the image of your passport is acceptable/readable by Disney’s system, and add a credit card for incidentals. If you’re slow or your computer/internet crashes, you’ll move from boarding group 6 to 12 or so just from a few minutes’ delay. If you’re staying at a Walt Disney World Resort and taking Disney’s buses out to Port Canaveral, you have a boarding group assigned to you so you can check in at a more leisurely, stress-free pace, but otherwise…ZOOM!
You also go through a similar, class-based competition close to departure day to book your shore excursions or other special activities, so be prepared.
The Boarding Experience
It’s rare that we’ve encountered a hassle-free boarding process (though MSC does a good job at Port Canaveral using the same facilities). Inevitably there’s some problem with parking or “cast members” give us conflicting information, or people are just rude trying to get on the boat. Like I said, this is not unique to DCL, it’s just vexing.
Once you hear your boarding group called, you go through (or dodge, as we do) the family photo area, wend your way up the boarding ramp, and step into the ship’s atrium. You are greeted by a cast member who scans the QR code from your boarding group paperwork you received 30-45 days out—you DID hold onto your paperwork, right?–and then you are handed off to another CM with a microphone who asks your names. We just say, “The Leahy Family,” though the urge to say “Bartman and Robin” is strong. The CM then shouts your name over the speakers so everyone on board now knows that you’re in the house.
Introverts do not like this practice, by the way, but we’ve learned to keep it short and duck out of the atrium ASAP.
Usually, if it’s before 1:30 p.m., your room isn’t ready, so you end up carrying your carry-on luggage with you wherever you want to go. The restaurants have a plated meal or you can go to the buffet or a fast-food option on deck. Or just head for one of the saloons that’s open. If it’s after 1:30 p.m., you can head for your stateroom, where your room key cards are in sealed up in an envelope that you rip along the perforations to access. As with most cruise lines, that card then becomes your room key, room charge card, and ID for leaving or reboarding the ship.
Life On Board
Most cruise ship cabins I’ve experienced are approximately 150-250 square feet (14-23 square meters). The big difference is usually whether you have a window, a verandah, or none of the above. They have a few suites in the concierge area, but otherwise, you’re paying for the privilege of boarding first, a private snack/refreshment room, and a team of really excellent guest service staff.
The rooms are comfortable, nautically themed, decorated with Disney photographs or art, and have plenty of drawer and counter space for storing your clothes and other stuff. Plenty of room under the bed for storing your luggage, and plenty of lighting. Where the rooms tend to fall down for us are the electrical sockets and the bathrooms. As someone who uses a CPAP machine (go look it up), I need an electrical socket next to the bed, but such things are seldom available. Fortunately, my machine has a very long power cord, which sets up an efficient trip wire in the middle of the night. The bathrooms have two styles to them: one where the shower and commode are in the same room and one where there are separate rooms for each. This past cruise was our first experience with the two-room configuration, and it did not do much for us.
Once you’ve dropped off and/or put away your stuff, you’re ready to meander some more. Unlike many cruise lines that do their lifeboat “muster drill” electronically (watch it on your phone or the room TV), Disney still has people show up for their muster station in person and the whole process is not complete until EVERY passenger has appeared. All guest services are shut down during the drill, so for gosh sakes, finish your snack or beverage and get down there. The rest of us don’t like waiting.
The online “Navigator” app is helpful for showing your plans and where they’re located. However, if you are looking for random things to do (say, a nice game of Star Wars trivia or BINGO or a Disney character dance show), not everything shows up on the app. Go figure.
Dining is broken up among three different dining rooms. The servers you have on the first night you have throughout the cruise as they rotate you through the themed locations. Seatings are at 5:45 and ~8:15 p.m. Fewer small humans at the later seating, but 8 p.m. is really late for some of us to eat, so request your seating preference accordingly. If you don’t get the seating you want, I’ve had very little trouble going to the maitre d’ stand right as the seating begins and requesting a change. The front desk also can handle that.
The dining rooms are themed based on some Disney story or other (examples include Princess and the Frog, The Avengers, Frozen, etc., and they usually have some sort of story/musical entertainment during the meal. Some of that is participatory–usually for the young ‘uns. The entertainment, if it includes people dancing down the aisles between tables, slows down dinner service. I do my best on the first night to ask the server to hurry things along because we just want to eat and roll, not necessarily watch the show.
(You might be asking, again, why we bother doing DCL when we’re not big on small humans or entertainment geared for the same. I’ll get there, I promise.)
Keeping Yourself Entertained
Some people are really big on seeing the ports, others really enjoy on-ship, at-sea time. As I mentioned earlier, DCL has an entire deck dedicated to entertaining small humans by age group, from nurseries right up to 17. For adults, there are spa treatments, adult beverage/food tastings, and the occasional educational lecture, which we attended on our recent jaunt to Alaska. A year ago or so, Mrs. L and I realized we’re really bad at Caribbean cruising because we’re not up for the usual activities: scuba/snorkeling, drinking adult beverages, or hanging out at the beach. We are happier with port time, though I have yet to meet someone who’s happy visiting the city of Nassau. Europe works for us because we’re intellectual dorks who like to get some education or cultural exposure on land. To each their own.
The entertainment on Disney ships ranges from character greetings and shows to a movie theater to full-blown, Broadway-quality live performances drawn from one of the Disney movies. Sometimes we watch the shows from the room, sometimes we go in person, but the Moana show on the Disney Treasure was definitely worth seeing live.
A lot of people ask about the food. You’re a captive audience most of the time, so the cruise lines know they need to provide good variety and quality. Mrs. L and I started cruising together in 2022, and the food quality has slipped from a solid “B” to a solid “C”–okay, but nothing to write home about. The food was slightly better on the Disney Wonder out of Vancouver, so we’re left to wonder if it’s just a matter of different suppliers, better-quality ingredients, or both. On days where the menu selections did not wow us, we’ve eaten “deck food” from one of the stands near the pool or gotten room service. I will say this for the room service on the Wonder: it was impressively FAST! We’ve done the specialty restaurants once or twice but as the menus get more sophisticated (in my language, weird), we’re less inclined and stick with what’s free.
So aside from the occasional show or shore excursion, why do we keep coming back to Disney? The fact that we were both long-time cast members explains part of it. We both moved from up North to work for the Mouse because we had happy memories of the films, TV shows, and theme parks growing up. We appreciate Disney’s attention to design details, quality, and guest service. I answered complaint letters for the Walt Disney World Resort for five years, so we are not shy about sharing when we think the staff dropped the ball or did a good job. (You should, too! DCL is very good about responding to issues if you report them.)
Anyhow, a couple of middle-aged, introverted adults with no kids can still manage to have a good time on a Disney cruise. It helps to walk around the ship and look for places where people are not. If you’ve got a cabin with a verandah and the weather cooperates, relax out there. Or, if you’re in port, find something to do there. And really, if you’d like to wish upon a star, the ship’s whistle on the Disney Magic will play the tune.
The Real Bart Leahy 